Life is stressful...

Well let's see life has been crazy stressful. Work sucks, and I have been super busy with it. It takes up most of my life. I spend more time at work then I do at home! I have had a lot of extra responsibilities placed on my shoulders which in a good way shows I am a great employee but in a bad way that I don't have anyone to help me out and that in of itself is stressful! I keep hoping it's gonna get better but it doesn't! oh well life goes on right?!?!

My family went to Washington without me for Christmas because my boss wouldnt give me any time off, so I stayed here and spent it with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. Which they really were amazing and made me feel apart of their Christmas which I really appreciated! It was a good day for the most part, just missed not being with my family!

I kind of have a boyfriend. We are dating just not official I guess you could say. I don't know. But he is cute and super sweet! Always has the right thing to say! It's new and fun! We shall see what happens!

I had dinner with one of my best friends the other night and it was really great seeing her!! I missed her so much. It was fun catching up and just having some girl time! I don't have that very often anymore!

I went country dancing for the 1st time in a long time and had a blast!! I danced lots and got to let out some of my stress which is always nice!!

I am trying to love life and figure out what I want this next year to bring to me! I guess we will see right?!?!

Thanksgiving!!!!

I am grateful for so many things this year!! Since today is the 24th of November and I didn't do a thankful day everyday I am going to do all of mine in one sitting!!!

I am thankful for
1. FaMiLy- I am so grateful that my family is together this thanksgiving! I do miss my Florida family but I will be seeing them soon!! I can't wait till Adam and Tammy get married and we get to spend the time together and have our family grow! They have been apart of our family for a long time but we are making it official!!
2. Gospel- I am thankful for the gospel and my Savior Jesus Christ and all he does for me! I wouldn't be who I am today without it!
3. Country dancing- I love dancing, especially country swing! It is such a fun way to work out!! I love just letting lose and having a blast and not caring what anyone thinks!
4. A job- may not be the most ideal but it is a great job!
5. A roof over my head
6. The few friends I have that still talk to me
7. Doctors- that they help us heal and fix the things that need fixing!
8. That I am alive
9. That my little brother is still here with us after everything that has happened! (a post for a later)
10. USA!!! That I get to live in a free country!
11. That I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father
12. Photography- I am so thankful that we get the opportunity to take pictures and then look back and see how much love we have and how much fun we have!!
13. Nature- I love being outside and enjoying the great outdoors and seeing the beauty all around!
14. For amazing sister-in-laws!! Could have some mean ones but they are pretty amazing and perfect for my brothers!
15. Adoption- I am so happy that MayLynn is happy and healthy and has a loving family!
16. A car- so I can get to my job and around town and be able to go anywhere I need to or want to!
17. Music- I love country music, but I also like to rock out to some pop music!
18. Technology- I love that we have so many ways to be able to talk to each other and stay in touch with each other!
19. Food- I love eating good food and not being hungry! Lucky that I get the opportunitty to eat and not starve!
20. Piano- I love playing the piano!! It helps me relax and let out some stress!!
21. Sports- I love a good football game and baseball game!
22. Reading- I love getting caught up in a good book!
23. Holidays- they bring families together!! I love having my family together for big holidays and enjoying each others company!!
24. Running- I love running for whatever reason! It is so relaxing and fun! It's a relaxing way to let out some stress!!

old friends.....

So last week an old friend facebook messaged me! It was so good to hear from him! It brought back a lot of wonderful memories that I had with my friends. It has been about 9 months since I have probably talked to him. We have been talking and hanging out and it has been so much fun!!

Last week at country dancing I danced with some old people and some new.. I was talking to this guy and Josiah came up to me showed me a text message that said he was asking about me earlier.. SO I had a boy asking about me!!! that is so exciting!! I had a blast last week, it took a little while to get to the fun stage but I had a blast!! Met some new people and caught up with some old people!!!

I have been walking with my dad every morning. It has been hard to get out of bed at times but has been a blast!! It gives us time to have some one on one time to talk. I love talking to my dad about everything that is going on in my life!!

I am looking into a new job. I had an interview today and it would be an amazing job!! I would be working at a private doctors office. Monday through Friday 8-5! Those are some amazing hours!! The people are super nice and I would be working with one of my dearest friendS!! Now I just have to pass the 2nd interview with the doctors... we will see!!! WISH ME LUCK!!! :)

Weddings and Engagements!!

Well let's start with my brother Tyler got married!!!! It was a beautiful day full of love, laughter, crying, and everything in between!! I just love my family!! They are the best!! I had the best time hanging out with Alyssa my niece! We had so much fun!!

Also good news my older brother Adam got engaged!!! YAY!!!! another wedding in our future! which is always good because it will bring my family together again!! :) i love it when my family gets together!!!!

I was given the wonderful opportunity to speak in church and give the relief society lesson. I was so nervous but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was banking on the girls in the ward to talk to me but no they really didn't and I didn't have enough material to last a whole 45 minutes.. It lasted about 35-40 so I ended it early, but thats what I get. IT was a blessing because I learned so much that I truly needed too!!

I am extremely motivated to lose weight right now. I am getting up at 4:30 to go walking with my dad every morning. granted I am only on day 2 but I am going to do it!! I am going to lose weight and get in shape!!

Only 27 days until Disneyland!!!! I am so excited!!

Hospitals= sucky time

I am so tired of being in hospitals.. They are not a fun place to be! They are so emotionally and physically draining. All the emotions you have to deal with while there and not being able to help in anyway just sucks big time! I have spent way to much time in the hospital this past year, it is not fun at all. Especially when my parents are out of town. Somehow we always end up in the hospital. It's just not fun.

I have learned so much this past year. You can't take life for granted because you never know what it gonna happen today, tomorrow, the next day! You have to rely on the people that matter most and that is your family! They are always there for you no matter what. Rain or shine, come hell or high water always there!! It just amazing me at how much strength my family has! WE can overcome anything, it may be hard at first but we will over come it! WE always do, we always will as long as we have each other. Never loose sight of how important your family is!!

I believe that this past year has strengthened my family so much and we will only get stronger as we rely on each other and help each other get through everything we need to get through!!

I have the best little brother!!!

I just want to do a little tribute to my amazing little brother!!! I love him soo much and am so proud of the person he is! I love it that when anyone hurts me or if I am crying he is always right there to ask who he needs to beat up or whats wrong! I love that about him, because I do the same thing to him! I love that he will just call me when he is in the area and just want to come over and hang out for a bit or call me to do something! He is the only one that does that! I am soo grateful to have him in my life and I know we haven't always gotten along, but that's normal we are siblings and he still is the annoying little brother sometimes, but I know that in a drop of a hat he is always there for me. (my other brothers would be too) I am always there for him, because that's what family is all about!!! :-) I wouldnt trade mine for the world!!! My family is the best family in the whole wide world!!! I have seen so much love between us this past year! It has been hard, but we got through it together as a family and I am so proud of all of them. Especially Jordan though, he has overcome so many trials this past year and I do believe he is growing and learning, does he make some mistakes, yes, but who doesn't?? No one is perfect. I truly do think he is trying to move forward, does he stubble you bet, but again who doesn't?? He is gone for three weeks and I am really going to miss him! But he will be home in time for the wedding and when the whole family will be together which is super exciting!! It is coming up tooo soon!!!

4th of July!!!

I had an amazing 4th of July weekend!! It was full of lots of laughter!

Saturday night I went to dinner with my best friend Brittany! We had so much fun! We talked and laughed! We were gonna try to go somewhere this weekend but her mom said no so we stayed home. So after dinner I went home.

Sunday-we went to church and then just layed around and watched a couple movies and some tv and then Sunday night Regan and I jammed out to justin bieber while we started our word wall! It is so cute! I will have to put up a picture when its all done. We then made some pancakes because we were craving them! We just danced and laughed and then we started Killers but decided to go to bed instead we had a busy Monday to plan for!

Monday- we woke up early and started our shopping adventure! Brittany wanted to go to some goodwills so we did! We were laughing and taking pictures of all the cool things we found. We found a super cute shelf to hang up and a little corner bookshelf and a book! And that was all at the first one then we went to 2 more! It was fun, then we decided to go to the chandler mall! We spent a lot of time there. Then we went to lunch at california pizza kitchen where we had horrible service but really delicous food! Then we had an epiphany to match outfits for the dance and fireworks that brittany and I were going to that night so we were on thr hunt and found these super cute flag tank tops and underneath we wore a navy blue t-shirt! We didn't get home from shopping until like 3:30 and we started at 8:30! Then britt and I got ready and we headed up to payson. We danced a little, got sprinkled on, and watched a reslly goo fireworks show! All in all I had an amazing weekend with two of my favorite people!!

One more day off and then 4 days of work! What will today bring?

life is good good good!!

Life is amazing!!

A little update Brittany moved out which makes me super sad, I miss living with my best friend. Its weird not having her at home when I get home or go out together all the time! I don't see her as often which makes me sad but that's ok! I just love her!

Ashley, tyler's fiance moved in with us until they get married which is super fun! Don't see her much but its nice having her around and tyler around a lot more!

My grandparents are here!! I just love it when they come to visit! They are the best ever!!

My whole family will be together in a little over a month for tyler's wedding and it is going to be so much fun to be together! I just love my family! I love it when we all get to be together to hang out and have a blast!!

And I just love life!! It has been really good lately!!

I swam a mile across a lake which was super hard but a lot of fun!!

... I just don't know anymore

I just don't know! I am in the weirdest mood and I just don't know how to describe it, almost like I am depressed, but not at the same time. If that makes any sense at all. Which it probably doesn't. Sometimes I just wonder if I am gonna be good enough. Yes I know what you are all thinking, but sometimes it is just really hard. I wish so badly to get married and start a family and I know it will happen someday. I am just ready for that next stage in life and maybe I am not as ready as I think I am since I haven't found that special someone either or I am not in the right place at the righ time. Or the guy I am looking for isn't ready or isn't here. Ya just never know and I know I have to have faith and trust in the Lord and I do, but somedays it is harder than others. I watch my brother who is getting married and he is so happy and so in love and sometimes I just don't know if that is in the cards for me and I know it is because my blessing tells me so, but its hard waiting sometimes. I've been waiting my whole life and I guess I just need to have more patience.

I wish I had friends. It's not fair to only have my family to rely on. I am so grateful to have a family who is always there for me. Which I know I have to make an effort to make friends and I am trying but it is hard. It's a little bit of getting out of my comfort zone and getting out there and meeting them. I hope this new ward will be full of new friends and great friendships. I haven't had friends in a long time and that makes me sad. I wish I could have people to call on the weekend to hang out with. This past weekend I spent everynight at my parents house with my family.

It's nice to know that I am never alone! I always have my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ at my side! They are always there to boost me up and make me feel whole! I don't know what I would do without them in my life or the gospel! The Gospel is so much of who I am and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It means to much to me. I am so grateful to know that if I live worthy I can return to live with Him again. That my family is eternal and I will always have them in my life. They will go with me in the next life as well! They too if they live worthy can return to our loving Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for parents who have instilled in me the standards and love the gospel brings into my life. The joy and happiness it brings. Because it truly is a gospel of love and happiness. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the blessing I get from repentance. The peace I get when I go to church every Sunday. The peace I get from the Temple. The wonderful opportunities we get when we go to the temple. The amazing blessing we recieve when we help those on the other side who need our help. I am lacking in my temple work and I am striving to get my temple recommend so I can go and do His work. Share the gospel with those who didn't get the opportunity to accept it here. I love the gospel! I am so thankful for the temple and being able to start eternal families there!

Well that's just a little bit of how I am feeling today. I am sure I will be back to normal tomorrow but this is how I feel right now!

Gallstones....

Yep that's right I have gallstones.... soooo fun!!!

So it all started a few months ago when I would wake up in the middle of the night in really bad pain in my abdomin. I didn't really think anything of it. Maybe like a month or so later I woke up again in the same kind of pain. It would last anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. It would eventually go away. Again I let it go, not big deal. Then one night it started before I even feel asleep. This time I threw up and felt sooo much better. So I called my mom in the morning and she was like well you probably are having gall bladder problems because I went through the same thing. and everyone says I am too young and don't fit the profile. boy were they wrong. well we let it go a little while longer and then I had an attack last sunday night so my mom said ok lets go to the doctor.. I said ok. So on Wednesday we went to the doctor she said acid reflux and my mom said gall bladder. so she ordered a ultra sound. so Friday morning I went in for my ultra sound and the tech said I have gallstones.. yay me!! So now I am just waiting to hear from my doctor and then it will be removed.. So right now I am on a very low fat diet!! which is easier than I thought it would be but still hard because everything has fat in it.. So I am just very careful with what I put in my body now.

I work full time!!

So I am now a full time employee for America's Best Contacts and Eyeglasses!! Its pretty awesome!! We hired these new girls at work and I just don't like them very much.. But work is super stressful because the new girls dont exactly know what there doing so I move like 1000 milesa minute and it is hard, but I survive. I come home just exhausted from work. Which is nice but also not so nice because I feel lame going to bed at like 9:30 every night. but oh well that is my life right now! Sometimes I feel like I don't have a spot at work, I have many spots. I am all over the place which is ok but sometimes kind of sad because I have no where to go!

I bought me the cutest cowboy boots ever!! I just love them!! They make me super happy!!

Just done waiting... time to move on

I don't think it is very fair to have to be the one that has to initiate everything. I don't think that it is fair that I have to be the one to text him everytime. Why can't he text me every now and then. I guess I should be happy that he is even texting me back at all, but still! I guess I want to be chased after too. It's only fair! I get it guys are dumb as my mom always tells me and I should probably get use to it, but I guess call me old fashion I want someone to want to talk to me. That when they wake up or go to bed they want to text me good morning and good night. I am sure I am asking way to much as usual but I know that I get that way when I want to talk to someone. I am seriously just over putting myself out there and talking to guys and getting shut down. It's not fun. It's all just over rated. I'm over it. I am done!

Day with the bestie!!

Yesterday me and the bestie spent all day together!! We woke up, got ready, went tanning (well she tanned I waited), went to ross, and then headed over to my mom's house to lay by the pool, then we went to taco bell for baja blast mountain dew of course and they were out (to say the least we were so disappointed how do you run out of baja blast mountain dew), and then we went to walmart, and then we went home to get ready to go dancing. WE left for dancing at about 7. She has an advanced class she is taking so I waited till it was over for our other dance class and then just free dancing. It was so much fun! I haven't danced like that in a very long time! I was talking to this girl and she was like I really like watching you dance your really good. I was like thanks! It made me feel really good! I love dancing with people who tell me I am good. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I get self concious with my dancing ability and it is nice to know that I am good! I was talking to these two boys, who were actually twins and Josiah and Bridgett walked by me and were giving me the thumbs up and bridgett said he is really cute! haha it was really funny. To say the least I had an amazing day with my Bestie and an amazing time dancing!! :) I love Wednesday's and having the day off of work!! Today we plan to spend most of the day together doing whatever we want to. I think we are going to go look at cowboy boots!! and who knows what else!

Loving Life

So on Sunday I was so excited to go to church! I got up got ready and we left. We got to church and realized that is was stake conference! I missed church... so I called my Dad and said we are coming to church with you. So we went to a family ward. Wow I haven't been to a family ward in a very long time and it was loud. But I enjoyed it!

Last night we went to FHE in our new ward. It was so much fun!! I really love our new ward. Everyone is so friendly and nice! I have a feeling that we will make great friends in this ward and enjoy all the activities and lessons it has to offer!

Last night we went out after FHE (we as in brittany, regan, and I) We had to much fun. We went shopping for a little bit, got some ice cream, and then went to Applebee's!! It was soo much fun! We laughed so hard and had a fantastic night together!! I love my roomies!!! :)

My aunt and uncle are here and I can't wait to see them!!!

Easter..

I had a awesome Easter!!! I loved it!! We got up went to church and then we went to my parents house and had the whole family over!! It was so much fun! We had dinner and then had an easter egg hunt for my little cousins and then we went to the park and played.. We played piviot!! I love that game and it brings back so many wonderful memoried with my entire family. aunts uncles and cousins. we use to play all the time at my grandparents house and when we went camping.. Like I can't wait till everyone comes for Tyler's wedding so we can play as a whole family!! It just brings back so many great memories from when I was a kid and made me realize how much I miss my family!!

I look forward to being able to plan an easter egg hunt for my children someday! It just makes the joy of Easter that much more fun!

Also I just want to say that I know that my Savior lives! I know that he made the ultimate sacrifice for me and everyone else around me. He is truly an example to me and I love him so much! He has blessed my life in so many ways and I look forward to the relationship that I am continuing to work on with him. As I grow more spiritual with him! I love the gospel and I wouldnt be who I am today without it!

I love my new house!!!

That's right, we moved into a house!!! yay!! I am so excited! Our house is soo cute!! I love coming home to a house instead of a crappy apartment.. Sooo much nicer!

I am soo excited for a new area, for a new ward, for meeting new people!! I can't wait for what this new area has to offer!!

too strong for my own good!!

Soo I was at work yesterday and we have this glass bowl that we keep the pens in. I was looking at it and it was super dirty. So I grabbed the bowl dump out all the pens and walked over to the sink. I was washing it and as I was drying it I broke the bowl and sliced off a chunk of my ring finger. It was no good. It hurt really bad and it wouldn't stop bleeding so we went to the emergency room. Let me just say they had the cutest guys working there. oh my gosh.. They were really nice and fast. I now have to keep it covered for awhile and it makes it really hard to do a lot of things.. Typing this blog is really hard so I am done for now.

Question...

Do you ever feel like you have lost someone, without actually losing them??

Like they are still in your life, but not the way you want them to be or not the way it use to be. Because I feel like I have and it hurts a lot.

I am not really sure what else to say about it.

So I hope you all have a fantastic day!!

The Temple...

I love to see the temple I'm going there someday!! I can't wait to go to the temple and be able to go through it! I look forward to learning so much more about the Gospel, Eternal Families, Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father. It will be a joyous day when I can enter into God's Home!

I just want to tell you how much I love the Temple and the Visitor's center! It is a place of peace and a place where I can feel the spirit and nothing can bring me down! Tonight for instance I went to the temple with Brittany and Dana because she wanted to take some pictures of it.. So it was raining and we ran into the visitors center and they made an anouncement of the Joseph Smith movie so I jumped at the chance to watch it! I love that movie. I can not begin to imagine what Jospeh Smith went through and the trials he went through. I would never want to go through what he had to go through. To be tarred and feathered and to be scorned and ridiculed. What a strong and couragous man he is! And for Emma Smith as well who went through so many trials and tibulations. I know that they will be blessed! I know that Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God! I know that he lives! I know that he translated the Book of Mormon so I could have it on the earth today to read and to study from! I know that he spoke to God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ! I know that they live as well! I am so lucky and grateful for the knowledge of the Gospel that I have! I am so grateful to have it in my life to guide me safely home!

Also I am soooo grateful for my Family!!! I honestly don't know what I would do without them! I am so lucky to have brother's that at any second Iknow would have my back if I needed them and to know that I would do anything for them! I am so grateful to have such a loving relationship with them! I am so lucky to be able to just call them up when I have a problem and not be judged on it! I am so lucky to have people that no matter the decision I make they are 100% behind be just like I am for them! I would never judge my family because they are my family! If you cant open up to your own family who else are you suppose to open up to. I am so grateful for my Mom. She will never know how truly grateful I am for her and the influence she has in my life! I know that no matter what she loves me! And I am so lucky!! I am so lucky to have a Dad who supports me in all of my decisions and guides me to a better life! I am so lucky for the blessing's he has given me by the priesthood and the love he has for my brother's and I. He only wants the very best for us and I know that! He only wants us to succeed in life! He has taught us the value of responsibility. I am so grateful for that! I love my family soooo much! I don't think they will ever understand how much they mean to me.

Moving!!!!

We are moving!!!

Yes yes that is right! We got the cutest little townhouse and are moving in at the end of the month!! I can't wait to live in a nice area and have a house!! I am so sick of apartment living!!

Sooooo excited!!!!

Souffle's!!!

SO last Sunday Regan and I made chocolate souffle's!!!

AS we were making them we kept thinking to ourselves that they are not going to work they are the first ones we have made and they will fall.. So as we are whipping them together and then putting them in the dish.. then putting them in the oven. AS they sit in the oven we watch them!! We are like look look look they are rising.. and we kept watching them and then we are like they are done!!! so we took them out and we set them on the counter.. as we were taking them out we both said oh well they will fall.. but guess what?!?!?!? THey didn't fall!!! the hardest part of making a souffle is making sure they dont fall and we did it!! we mastered the souffle!!! it was amazing.. we were so excited!! They tasted amazing as well. We were so proud of ourselves that we sent the picture out to our families!! It was a big accomplishment! We are going to try to master something new every Sunday.. We feel like we started the hardest thing first but we will see what else we can make. If you have any suggestions feel free to let me know what we should master next!!

Here is the picture of our chocolate souffle's!!

life is soooo good right now!!

Life is sooo good right now!!!

The weather is perfect!! I just want to be outside all the time!!

Dancing has been a blast lately!!! Went to a couple different places to go dancing and had a blast!! First we started out at 12 west. which is our usually dancing place! THEN Denim and Diamonds and we country danced till like 2 am! and then we went to Toby Keith's! That was fun! Then we tried out San Tan Flatts!! That was super fun too. We danced and laughed and had a fantastic time!!

I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me unconditionally! IT truly makes life a little easier everyday! I don't know what I would do without the gospel in my life and I know I don't want to find out! sure it would be easier to do other things, but being obediant and choosing the right will get me to where I want to be! That is what is most important anyways!!

Also, I would really like to get married and have a family. Sometimes I feel like it is sooo far away and I know waiting for the right guy will be worth it but sometimes I just wish it would happen already. I am ready for the next stage in life! I know I know I know you are all thinking she is soo young what is she thinking, but for me its what I really want out of life and I know that it is super important to me! I love living the single young adult life.. well most days but there are days when I just want to be done dating and looking for someone.. Its hard to get out there and to put yourself out there.. Soon enough it will come but for know I will be waiting and having a blast in the meantime!!

P.S I am finally starting to feel good about myself!! Which is always good! I love my life and all the people in it! I wouldn't have it any other way! Plus ARIZONA has amazing weather right now and it just makes me sooo happy!!!

feeling soo much better!!

I am not sick anymore!!! Yayy!!! Its makes me so happy that coughing doesn't hurt and my tummy isnt hurting, and my nose being stuffed!! I am back to my normal self!!!

I have been running lately and it has been soo nice! I am so motivated to get active and start being healthy! I love it! I am already losing weight!!!

Today is my beautiful best friend's birthday!!! Happy Happy Birthday to my BEAUTIFUL Bestie!! She is amazing and I hope she has an amazing rest of her day!! I love it when she is happy!!! :) We are going out to celebrate tonight!!

We made the cutest shirts last night at FHE!! I will post a picture when we wear them!!

one lucky girl!

I am soooo lucky to have such an amazing family!! That no matter what, they are always there for me! I love it when I am down and sad they are always there to cheer me up!! For instance tonight... I was a little sad and doing this poor me pitty party kind of thing and Jordan walks in the room and grabs my hands and pulls me up and says why are you cryin.. My mom said she is just sad.. So he tells me I can be friends with his girlfriend.. we hug then he hugs me.. the kind of pick me up hug where he cracked my back!! I just love my little brother! Then there is my brother tyler who because he is a worthy priesthood holder could help my dad give me a blessing! I started crying because I am soo lucky to have them in my life so they can give me blessings when I need them!! I know that my Father in Heaven loves me so much and I am so blessed to have him in my life and I am so sorry for not being the kind of daughter he knows I can be! I need to make reading my scriptures everynight, and praying both morning and night, and paying my tithing, and going to church a priority! Because I know how much love and support I get from my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ When I am doing the things I need to be doing! They are always there for me to pick me up and tell me what I need to know! I am so thankful for the gospel in my life! It is my foundation and is everything I am!

I am sick and its not fun at all.. I have the most horrible cough ever and I hate it.. I just want it to go away!!!

Weather!!

The weather has been sooo nice lately!! It's perfect!! like 85 degree's is perfect with the sun shining!! I just love it! Like I would spend all day outside if I could! It's amazingly perfect right now!! I love ARIZONA because it has the perfect weather!!!

I love dancing!! It is so much fun!! Country dancing has been a little slow lately but it's been super fun!! It's just fun to get out there and dance and have people tell you that you are an amazing dancer!! I think it all depends on the leader! I say I am a great follower!! It's been fun and I enjoying going everyweek!!

I have a cold and it's not very fun! My head is all congested and I don't like it at all! oh well hopefully it passes soon!!

I was driving down the road and...

So on Friday I was driving down Dobson Rd and as I was doing so I passed MCC (Mesa Community College) and I was stopped at a light and a young man was walking past (who I actually knew) and I said to myself or got the impression.. You need to be in school. You should be there! So guess what?!?!?!? I am going back to school! I don't know what I am going back for but I am going! I will probably start in the Fall!! I am super excited to start up again and learn and grow and meet new people! I have been so blessed with my job! I know they will help me out while I go to school and then who knows where life will take me! TO amazing places I know for sure!! I can't wait to get my degree and start doing something I absolutely love doing! I am so excited for the next phase of my life! I want to get married and have a family, but I need to be ready to meet that special someone!

Last night I was driving home with my parents from my aunt and uncle's house.. We were talking about being ready for the next phase in life.. and how I need to trust in the Lord and trust in his plan! He has a plan for me! And I believe in his plan! I trust in him!! I know that the wait will be worth it!!

Dinner with the bro's...

I love my BROTHERS!!! I love that we all can go to dinner and have a fantastic time together!! So tonight I went to dinner with Jordan, Tyler, Ashley (Ty's GF), Robley(Jordan's friend), and Regan!! We went to Buffalo Wild Wings and had a blast!! We laughed and talked about what was going on in each other's lives! I love that they are so close to me and that we can all go out together and spend time together! Brittany texted me and told me not to take it for granted and to cherish all the moments I get with them! she thinks it is amazing that we spend time together without our parents around and I am so thankful for them and all they do for me! I know she doesn't always get the opportunity with her siblings so I am grateful that mine will do it with me! And she knows she is always apart of the family if she wants to be! They are the best!! I know I can always turn to them when I need them and they can always turn to me too!! Spending time with Jordan and Tyler makes me think of Adam and how much I miss him and how much I know we would all have a blast being together and doing things together all the time! Family is the most important and always in your life!! Doesn't get much better then them!!

Taylor Swift on SNL - Roomies

So my cousin Roslyn told my cousin Regan about this video and said it reminded her of someone.. So Regan watched it and told me about it and said it reminded her of Brittany and I.. So she had to show me.. So I watched it and got a good kick out of it.. I was laughing pretty hard..

I guess this is how some people view us.. I don't think we are that bad.. I mean we do love each other a lot and sure we like to write on each other's facebook walls and text all day and hang out like all the time.. but we can be seperated for a little while..

I finally did it!!!

I finally perfected my spin in the cowboy cha cha!!! yayyy me!!! I usually cowboy cha cha with the dance teacher and yesterday we taught the class the spin and I did it!! I finally perfected it! we were dancing a little later and I said to him remember when I couldnt do the spin! He was like yes but you are getting really good at doing it!! then I taught cowboy Justin how to do the spin it was fun!! to say the least I love country dancing and it makes me happy!!! It is a type of dancing that I actually feel like I am really good at! I look forward to going every WEDNESDAY!! I am so thankful for Brittany for taking me country dancing and getting me hooked on it!!

My car is going to be done today!! yay I can't wait to have it back!!

Gilmore Girls!!!

Do you have a favorite tv show???

I sure do!!

Gilmore Girls is my FAVORITE show ever!! It always puts me in a great mood when I watch it! I just love the relationship between mother and daughter which reminds me of my amazing relationship with my MOM!! I know I can always go to her with anything just like Rory can with her mom!! Its amazing! So I have all the seasons on DVD and Brittany and I are watching every season!! It is super fun and makes me happy!!! :-)

Car accident...

California was a bust!! If only we hadn't gotten in a car accident on the way! WE hadn't even left town yet.. We were drving on the freeway in traffic and the car in front of the car in front of me slammed on his breaks so the car in front of me slammed on their breaks and I didn't have time to slam on my breaks enough so we hit the car in front of us.. My car has a nice dent in the front of it EVERYONE is ok.. A little shaken up being my first car accident but I survived and will survive.. It was very scary and nerve racking but the gentleman that I hit was very nice and said it's ok.. Everyone is fine and that is all that matters. HE said things like this happen.. SO someday real soon we real try our luck again and go to California!! As for my car it will need to be fixed!!

California and Daddy's!!

WE are leaving for California today!!!! I am beyond excited to have a blast with my bestest friend and my lovely cousin!! I just want to leave right now!!! But I have to wait for them to come home from work... :-)

Now let me ask you a question???

Who need's a boyfriend when they have a dad to come to their rescue????

I sure don't! When in doubt I always call my Dad!! (if I can't get a hold of him I call one of my brothers) You see a blew a fuse in my car and so my daddy got in my car and fixed if for me.. I mean how lucky am I because I don't really know that much about cars so it was really nice of him to fix it for me!! Plus I lost my registration for my car so my sweet Daddy got me a replacement copy!! It was oh so nice of him!! I am so lucky to have an amazing Dad who is always there for me and is always there to cheer me up when I am sad! He is the best!!

Now my little brother was a little sad that I didn't call him so next time if he can help he is on my call list!! I am so lucky to be able to call on them as well and know they would always be there to back me up in an instant!! I just love my Family!!! They are the BEST!!!

Valentine's day or bust!

I hate Valentine's Day!!!

It sucks..

Like why would I want a day to remember how single and alone I really am!

No thanks, I think I will pass..

I also don't believe that one day a year we need to show each other how much we love each other. WE should be doing that everyday!! I know someday I will probably love the idea of Valentine's day but right now... its sucks big time.. I just hate being alone and the more I am the more insecure I get, but no big deal I will survive..

Can't change it!

Disneyland in 4 days!!! Can't wait to spend some good ol quality time with my best friend/sister/roommate and my wonderful cousin! It is going to be AMAZING!!

If I could take away the pain I would!

My little brother is going through a really hard time and I just worry about him so much! Last night he called me and was like can I come over and I was like yeah sure! So he came over and we just sat and talked.. He was trying to tell me what he is going through! I know he wants to open up to me but he doesn't quite know how to I think. Like I know he wants to talk about it but he is scared to talk about it! I just worry for him! I can't imagine what he is going through especially because he doesn't go to church and is doing it all alone.. You know I tell him all the right things and of course they refer back to the gospel because that is a huge part of my life and he told me that I always tell him the same things.. Then don't come talk to me then! I mean I do want him to talk to me, but he can't be mad for what I tell him! I am going to tell him he is worth something and he has a lot of potential and he needs to figure out what he wants to do with his life and where this life is taking him. So as he was leaving I got up to hug him bye an he said I don't feel like a hug from you and walked out the door! I told him I loved him and he said I love you back, but it hurt.. I just shut the door and broke down! I can't imagine what he is going through and his new girlfriend is making him second guess everything.. Because she had a baby and her baby passed away and he is mad that he just gave his baby away! I told him you did the best thing for her and she is going to have an amazing life and an amazing family to support her! I just don't know what to do and my heart goes out to him! If I could help him and take all the pain away I would in a heartbeat! He has so much ahead of him and he doesn't even realize it! I just hurts and I worry about him! I just have to let him know that I am always here for him!

I feel like he comes to me for a reason and he just strengthens my testimony everytime I talk to him because I know that what I tell him is true! From the bottom of my heart it is true! WE have a loving Heavenly Father who is always there for us! I couldn't imagine my life without him in it and I am lucky to not have to go through that! I will strive to stay close to him forever!! I wouldn't want a life without him because I would be lost! Satan is good and he has my little brother under his grasp and it kills me! I know he knows better and he has a good head on his shoulders he just needs to figure it out.. he is at his breaking point and all I can do is tell him it will get better and you are not alone! but apparently that doesn't help him right now! But someday he will open up and I am always here to listen to him and everything he is going through!!

P.S A week from today we are going to Disneyland!! something joyful to look forward too!!

I am so grateful for the friends in my life! Brittany is amazing everytime she just listens to me vent about whatever I need to vent about or get off my chest!! Regan is really good about listening to me as well and I am so grateful for her and all she does for me! I am thankful for Jake who went to the temple with me last night to just walk around so I could be close to my Heavenly Father and he helped me calm down and focus on something else! I thank him. I hope they all know that I am always here for them whenever they need help or are going through a hard time!! I love them so much!! <3 <3 <3

country dancing = love!!

I just love going country dancing everyweek!! It is so much fun!! So last night Brittany and I recorded a video of us dancing because we wanted to see what we looked like while we danced and it turns out we look pretty dang sweet!! We look really good which is amazing!! I just love going and learning new moves and having a blast with my friends while there!!! I just love dancing with cowboy jake too!! he is a good teacher and leader. It is super fun to dance with him!! He just loves this one move and he does it all the time but it is really fun!! A big thanks to Jake who danced with us for our videos!!

p.s 8 more days!!!!!

ahhhhhh!!!!

We leave for disneyland in 9 DAYS!!!! I am so excited!! I am excited to spend some quality time with my roomies and enjoy the wonderful California air.... okay actually to enjoy the beach and the happiest place on earth!! I love Disneyland and I can't wait to go. I haven't been in awhile and I just look forward to it!!

I am trying to blog more and it is kind of working and kind of not working.. I really want to share more about what is going on in my life!! So here is a little recap of last weekend!

Friday night cowboy jake asked us to hang out so we decided to go see country strong.. I felt like it was pretty good up until the end.. but oh well you can't like every movie.. cowboy jake hated it hard core.. he reminded us of that on the way home..

Saturday I went to work came home and went shopping with Brittany and Ryan.. Then
Britt and I went over to her friend Brandon's house for a little bit and then we watched pure country with cowboy jake.. Which was a fantastic move might I add.. We have been watching a lot of country movies lately!!

Sunday we helped Britt's mom with the superbowl party.. Partied with the family and then went to my families house and celebrated Regan's birthday and ate some yummy cake!! Then Cowboy jake and his cousin branton (who I knew before but didn't realize it until a little while later) came over and we played a card game.. I can't remember what they called it but it is a mix between pinacle and hearts.. it was really fun once we got the hang of it..

Monday I went to work and then came home.. Saw Britt off on her date and then layed in bed and watched the BACHELOR.. yes I like that show!! then I layed in bed waiting for her to come home. while I layed in bed I read a book.. It is called something like fate!! It was a cute little high school drama book.. I really quite enjoyed it.. Then she came home talked about her date and then we went to bed..

Tuesday I woke up early because Britt was sick. I helped get her things she needed cleaned up her vomit in the bathroom and then her mom came and got her and took her to the hospital.. She is ok now but was in a lot of pain at the time! Then she came home and I came home.. Cowboy Jake and Branton came over last night and we watch pure country 2 which was a big disappointment and then we watch 8 seconds!! from what I saw it was a really good movie!! Then we went to bed..

Wednesday.... well I woke up and now I am blogging.. going to hang out with my mom today and possibly go country dancin tonight if Britt is up for it!!

Life has been really good these last few days!!! Gotta love life!!

life is hard sometimes..

I hate how life can be hard sometimes and that SATAN makes it that way for us! He knows how to destroy us and it just isn't fair! He takes what I am slacking in and runs with it and makes me feel miserable about myself.. I hate that he does this to me because he has me second guessing myself and who I am as a person and that just isn't right because I do know who I am! I am a DiViNe DaUgHtEr of God! The Savior is my rock and my foundations. I do need to strengthen my relationship with him BUT I do know who I am and what I deserve in this life. It is hard because I get stuck in these little ruts and I don't know how to get out of them, but then it hits me like a rock. I have to turn to my Savior and come unto him to help me with what I am going through. He is the only person who understand truly what we are going through because he has gone through it all for us! He died for me that I can live with my Father in Heaven again!

I had a really nice deep conversation with a good friend of mine and he told me I am awesome and I should never second guess that and I know he is right! I am awesome and amazing and I derserve so much!!

Now I hate that feeling like I am not pretty enough for skinny enough because the world has set this standard that girls have to be super beautiful and super skinny and it just isn't fair! Because guys don't like girls my size. I don't think I am fat by any stretch of the imagination, but I could lose a few pounds to feel really good about myself but I am beautful and someday I will meet someone that is worth it all for me and I will be everything he wants! I know it sucks waiting for that day but I know that it will happen someday! I hate that Satan makes me feel this way about myself as well. He knows how to tear me down, but I won't let him anymore!! I am strong!!

GYM...

I think I am going to join a gym.. it is seriously time to get healthy and skinny!! It's time to start working out everyday and eating better. It is time to make better decisions on what I eat. Stop eating out as much and just get leaner and more toned! All would be better! I would be happier with myself as well!! If I don't join a gym it is time to wii active and wii fit it up.. Also I can just dance on wii and I am seriously thinking about zumba for the wii. I think it would be a lot of fun!! I can always go outside and run or walk..

too much going on in my head..

Lately I have been thinking a lot about everything and anything.. Like happiness, choices, judgment, the gospel, family, friends, and myself.. (I am sure there are many more things but can't think of them right now) I will go over a little bit of what I have been thinking about of each othe them.

Happiness-
I believe that I determine my own happiness. It is up to me to make me happy. I can't expect someone else to make me happy because its not there job to make me happy. They can benefit from my happiness and they can make me happy in some way but it rest on my own shoulders.

Choices-
We all make choices.. It is up to us to deal with those choices we made. No one else is accountable for them but ourselves. I know that we wish we could help those who have made bad choices and we can be there for them but we can't make them change or want to be better. They are going to have to hit rock bottom by themselves first and then want to make their life better. It hurts to watch them make choices that affect their lives but we can't judge them on the choices they make.

Judgement-
No one has the right to judge but Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They are the only ones who understand our hearts and where we are at when we make those choices. Therefore they are the only ones who are aloud to pass judment. It's just not in our job description and we don't know what other people have been through to be where they are today. I try really hard not to pass judgment because it's not my place. I believe that everyone should have the chance to want to change and do it so they can make their lives better!

The Gospel-
I honestly don't know where I would be without the gospel in my life! It plays just a major part of it. It is who I am. I am a daughter of God and I want to live up to all my potential. It is hard and Satan knows how to get to us but we have to be strong in our testimony and our faith to not get under his grasp. I know I can reach my full potential by doing what is right and being in the right places!

Family-
Family is so important! I don't know where I would be without them! I hurt when they hurt, I love them so much! I couldn't imagine not having my family around all the time and as we all make our decisions about life and where we end up we are started to get seperated a little but I do understand how important they are in my life! I wouldn't be who I am without them! Family are the poeple who have your backs no matter what you are going through! They are the ones that help you through everything your going through! They are the most important people in your life!

Friends-
I love my friends! I am so grateful for the friends in my life who make me want to be a better person in all aspects of my life! They are the people who I want to be more like. They are the examples I have to stay strong. Who are there for me when I am going through a hard time and are there to listen to me ramble or talk about what is bugging me in my life or what is making me happy. They are the best! I don't have many but the ones I do have I cherish so much!!

Myself-
Such a big topic! I feel like I mess things up for myself sometimes. I say something at the wrong time and lose out on friendships or whatever else I am trying to acheive. I realize that sometimes it would be better to keep things to myself. I need to work on me and not being so down on myself sometimes. I am a pretty confident person and I am very strong in who I am but when it comes to certain aspects of my life it gets hard for me.

Like boys..
I fall for the wrong ones and I end up getting hurt. Or I go through the I am not pretty enough or skinny enough or not good enough to find someone. I go through the boys only like the pretty girls and the skinny girls. It's hard to put yourself out there to get hurt in the end.. I realize you have to put yourself out there to find someone but sometimes it is hard because you want to but you can't.. After you get your hopes up and they are dashed it is hard to rebound and get right back in there..

okay enough about that..

country dancin has been so much fun lately.. Last night Cowboy Jake got me and Britt's numbers and asked us to hang out sometime!!! yay!!! WE were so excited!! We are just a little bit in love with him because he is just a southern gentleman and just the nicest person ever!

My roomie is finally feeling better.. I don't like it when she is sick. it's not fun! She went on a date this week and had a blast.. She has a cute boy who sends her cute texts during the day and wants to take her out again!! yay!! I am so happy for her! :-) She deserves nothing but the best and complete happiness!!

Well I don't know what else to say.. I think I got out everything I have been thinking about!

Last night!!

Country dancing was so much fun last night.. there weren't a lot of people there but we had a blast danced a lot and had an enjoyably fabulous time! There is this real gentleman of a cowboy who we have been talking to for a couple weeks now and everytime we see him he just melts brittany and my hearts.. He is so cute and a real cowboy!!

so last night or should I say this morning people in the corner apartment kept us up for a few hours because they were so loud talking and being noisy so Britt asks me if i was awake and I said ya and she said I havne't been sleeping these people are so annoying so i put on some pj pants (because i was in shorts) and a jacket walked out there a little annoyed at them I mean it's 3:30 in the morning show some respect and said Can you please keep the noise level down some of us are trying to sleep and some of us have work tomorrow so if you could please be quieter I would apprecaite it thanks.. and then walked away.. they were like wow have a good night.. I just kept walking.. We layed in bed for a little but longer contemplated calling the cops and then they finally got quieter and we fell asleep or at least I did I am not so sure about B!

Do you ever wonder???

Do you ever wonder where you would be if you didn't make the decisions you made? I know I do! I wonder sometimes where I would be if I had made different choices in my life. I wonder where I would be if I had decided to go back to school. I wonder where I would be if I had moved into a different apartment.. I wonder where I would be if I didn't have the friends I do! Because I realize how luck I am!!

I realized that if I hadn't made the decisions I made I wouldn't be who I am today! I realized that I had to go through every one of my struggles and trials to get where I am today! I had to stay home from school get my cousin to move here and then move out, so I could move to the area where I would meet amazing people that have brought me so many life experiences! I wouldn't have had the opportunity to have all nighters in Payson or to go on adventures to the lake and river or go camping and quading and four wheeling! I wouldn't be going to Disneyland next month! I wouldn't have gone to general conference! I wouldn't have gone country every week for months! Running around having a marshmellow fight at a playground!

I love that I have a best friend who understand what I am going through! A best friend that when we met we just instantly clicked and can spend 24/7 together and not be totally annoyed with each other or fighting all the time! We can talk till we fall asleep and wake up and talk till we have to leave for work! We can talk about boys, about the gospel, about what we are going through in our own personal lives. How we feel about whatever is going on in our lives. I love how we can be totally having a blast one second and be totally serious the next. It's amazing and I just love her to death! I wonder sometimes where I would be without her and then I realize I would be lost because she has helped me so much in my life and am so grateful for her!!

Sunday and Monday!

So Sunday morning we were laying in bed talking and planning our DISNEYLAND trip!! oh so excited we leave in a month!!! yahoo!! So we were getting ready for that and then started getting ready for church and Brittany was like we should have a game night as we were walking into church and I was like yeah we should. There are a lot of new people in the ward that we didn't know and we just wanted to make friends because church for us just hasn't been that good with the poeple in the ward so we decided to make it better! so during sunday school we invited like 10 people we didn't really know to come over for a game night! We went home and baked our little hearts out!! We made mini carrot cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter cookies with kisses! they turned out amazing and we had a blast at our game night.. it was a little weird at first until people started to get more comfortable and start opening up.. we played apples to apples, catch phrase, and the question game. Then we got into a deep conversation about dating and relationships which was way awesome!

Then on Monday night I came home from work and we made these bomb fajitas!! They were so delicious! Then we went to FHE and then we went to the lake!! That's right we went on an adventure!! I have been missing our adventures! We took new people with us and had a blast!! We stood by the lake and played karate and just talked and had a blast.. we were a little mean to each other at times and then we would say five nice things about that person.. they started to get repeated because we really dont know each other very well but it was fun! We just gotta continue to hang out with people and getting to know them!! It's been super fun!!

And as for tonight we are going to Institute!!! I really want to strive to go every week to learn and grow closer to my Savior and Father in Heaven!!

Arizona!!

I just love Arizona! I love it's beauty and all it has to offer.. Plus I just love the weather down here! I mean it is the middle of January and I don't have to wear a jacket! Like how nice is that!! I just love it so much! I love going out to the desert and hanging out and admiring the beauty it has to offer.. plus the mountains are pretty awesome as well!!! I just love to be outside and am so lucky to have friends who enjoy it just as much as I do! It is just so much better to be outside than to be locked up in the house or apartment or whatever you live in!! I love being outside and enjoying the fresh air and getting away from all the distractions that come with being home such as tv and internet! It is so much more fun admiring God's creations!!

So Brittany took my picture today!! Well actually lot's of them! We had so much fun we went to a Ghost Mining town in Apache Junction and took my pictures.. I dressed up all cute and cowgirl like and we had a blast taking pictures.. SO many great props to use and such a beautiful background with the mountains and the desert behind me! It was a blast!! I felt super cute!!
Which is the main thing that matters right?!?

Family is the most important..

If your family doesn't have your back than who does??? So life has been pretty crazy and dramatic.. So much drama with the birthmom of my little brother's baby! She started crap on facebook about my brother and I am sorry if you are going to say something that isn't true about him them I am going to say something about that!! That is just not ok with me! My family is my number one priority and if you mess with them I am going to stand up for them! Just don't mess with them!!! I hate seeing my mom cry and hurt! She was hurting a lot because of what was said and we were bullied by her family and that is just not fair. Jordan deserves just as much support and love as she does and we were just showing that by sticking up for him! He is an amazing person who is trying to better his life and make things better for himself! He said so himself the other night that he didn't like the person he was when he came home from boot camp and I feel like he is slowly trying to change and reailze the kind of person he is! I just wish people would give him a chance he has so much potential and it sucks that people don't give him a chance!! It just isn't fair! I believe in him and I believe he wants to change for the better. He is trying to figure his life out which is fantastic!!

I realized the other day that I look forward to being a wife.. and no I am not engaged or even dating anyone for that matter, but I do look forward to getting married and being a wife! I want to have someone to come home to or be home for someone to come home for! I want to cook dinner and do all the lovely things a wife does!! I also extremely hate dating.. I really want to skip the whole dating thing because dating just sucks hard core.. It is no fun.. I hate falling for guys that don't fall back or leave or just aren't around after a certain amount of time.. I just want to get engaged and get married!! wishful thinking I guess.. I just feel like I am trying so hard to be all I can be and to do all that I can! I just super look forward to having a husband and being a wife and having a family someday!!

Happy New Year!!!

Oh my oh my.. I can't believe 2010 is already gone!! I look forward to 2011 and all it has to offer!!

I had an amazing Christmas!! It was so fun to spend time with my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents and my brothers family! We had so much fun! I am pretty sure the highlight were playing Monopoly deal and having nerf fights like everyday, but it was super enjoyable!! I just super love my family and I love spending time with them!! Although i missed my bestie Brittany because she was busy house sitting every other week and spending time with her own family while I was spending time with my own!! But we are back to being together 24/7 well I guess minus work... I just love hanging out with her!! She is pretty dang amazing and I just consider her family!! I mean she is my sister!!

New Years Eve was pretty amazing as well!! Brittany, my cousins Regan and Reanna and I went to Brittany's friend Paden's house.. We hung out in the garage and watched a movie! We watched the other guys! which is a super funny movie might I add!! So it was freezing in the garage so four of us cuddled up on the full size air mattress and stayed warm.. then we lit fireworks off at midnight and had some hugs and took some pictures!! it was so much fun!! then we finished the movie.. realizing that we were almost out of propane came back to our apartment to watch a second movie.. the proposal.. the boys were such good sports!! Then they left and we all went to bed. Then to start off the new year Brittany, Reanna, and I went offroading with Wesley and his cousin Brad!! We had so much fun.. we drove out into the middle of the desert and drove around and tried to cross the river but never quite made it across.. it just wouldn't work... then we all got the opportunity to drive the truck.. thats right i drove a stick truck in the middle of the desert!! it was soooo fun!! I love it!! So say the least it was a spectaculer way to start out the new year!!! gotta love country boys and their big trucks in the middle of the desert!! Makes me a happy girl!

With a new year comes new goals and dreams!!

~I want to get in shape..
~I want to eat healthier..
~I want to be more Christ-like..
~I want to be a better friend..
~I want to be a better daughter..
~I want to be a better Daughter of God..
~I just want to be better!!!!
~And I am going to strive to do so!!

I just love country dancing!!! It has been super fun going lately because the teacher uses us to teach other people how to dance.. like last night I was up in front of everyone teaching everyone the dance moves and it made me feel like I actually know what I am doing and that I am kind of good at it too!!! Which makes me super happy!! Something I am good at or I guess really good at following!! But who cares its pretty exciting and fun!!!

So all of this is a little random and all jumbled up together but oh well that is what makes it all worth the read!!!