I just don't know! I am in the weirdest mood and I just don't know how to describe it, almost like I am depressed, but not at the same time. If that makes any sense at all. Which it probably doesn't. Sometimes I just wonder if I am gonna be good enough. Yes I know what you are all thinking, but sometimes it is just really hard. I wish so badly to get married and start a family and I know it will happen someday. I am just ready for that next stage in life and maybe I am not as ready as I think I am since I haven't found that special someone either or I am not in the right place at the righ time. Or the guy I am looking for isn't ready or isn't here. Ya just never know and I know I have to have faith and trust in the Lord and I do, but somedays it is harder than others. I watch my brother who is getting married and he is so happy and so in love and sometimes I just don't know if that is in the cards for me and I know it is because my blessing tells me so, but its hard waiting sometimes. I've been waiting my whole life and I guess I just need to have more patience.
I wish I had friends. It's not fair to only have my family to rely on. I am so grateful to have a family who is always there for me. Which I know I have to make an effort to make friends and I am trying but it is hard. It's a little bit of getting out of my comfort zone and getting out there and meeting them. I hope this new ward will be full of new friends and great friendships. I haven't had friends in a long time and that makes me sad. I wish I could have people to call on the weekend to hang out with. This past weekend I spent everynight at my parents house with my family.
It's nice to know that I am never alone! I always have my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ at my side! They are always there to boost me up and make me feel whole! I don't know what I would do without them in my life or the gospel! The Gospel is so much of who I am and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It means to much to me. I am so grateful to know that if I live worthy I can return to live with Him again. That my family is eternal and I will always have them in my life. They will go with me in the next life as well! They too if they live worthy can return to our loving Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for parents who have instilled in me the standards and love the gospel brings into my life. The joy and happiness it brings. Because it truly is a gospel of love and happiness. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the blessing I get from repentance. The peace I get when I go to church every Sunday. The peace I get from the Temple. The wonderful opportunities we get when we go to the temple. The amazing blessing we recieve when we help those on the other side who need our help. I am lacking in my temple work and I am striving to get my temple recommend so I can go and do His work. Share the gospel with those who didn't get the opportunity to accept it here. I love the gospel! I am so thankful for the temple and being able to start eternal families there!
Well that's just a little bit of how I am feeling today. I am sure I will be back to normal tomorrow but this is how I feel right now!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment