GYM...

I think I am going to join a gym.. it is seriously time to get healthy and skinny!! It's time to start working out everyday and eating better. It is time to make better decisions on what I eat. Stop eating out as much and just get leaner and more toned! All would be better! I would be happier with myself as well!! If I don't join a gym it is time to wii active and wii fit it up.. Also I can just dance on wii and I am seriously thinking about zumba for the wii. I think it would be a lot of fun!! I can always go outside and run or walk..

too much going on in my head..

Lately I have been thinking a lot about everything and anything.. Like happiness, choices, judgment, the gospel, family, friends, and myself.. (I am sure there are many more things but can't think of them right now) I will go over a little bit of what I have been thinking about of each othe them.

Happiness-
I believe that I determine my own happiness. It is up to me to make me happy. I can't expect someone else to make me happy because its not there job to make me happy. They can benefit from my happiness and they can make me happy in some way but it rest on my own shoulders.

Choices-
We all make choices.. It is up to us to deal with those choices we made. No one else is accountable for them but ourselves. I know that we wish we could help those who have made bad choices and we can be there for them but we can't make them change or want to be better. They are going to have to hit rock bottom by themselves first and then want to make their life better. It hurts to watch them make choices that affect their lives but we can't judge them on the choices they make.

Judgement-
No one has the right to judge but Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They are the only ones who understand our hearts and where we are at when we make those choices. Therefore they are the only ones who are aloud to pass judment. It's just not in our job description and we don't know what other people have been through to be where they are today. I try really hard not to pass judgment because it's not my place. I believe that everyone should have the chance to want to change and do it so they can make their lives better!

The Gospel-
I honestly don't know where I would be without the gospel in my life! It plays just a major part of it. It is who I am. I am a daughter of God and I want to live up to all my potential. It is hard and Satan knows how to get to us but we have to be strong in our testimony and our faith to not get under his grasp. I know I can reach my full potential by doing what is right and being in the right places!

Family-
Family is so important! I don't know where I would be without them! I hurt when they hurt, I love them so much! I couldn't imagine not having my family around all the time and as we all make our decisions about life and where we end up we are started to get seperated a little but I do understand how important they are in my life! I wouldn't be who I am without them! Family are the poeple who have your backs no matter what you are going through! They are the ones that help you through everything your going through! They are the most important people in your life!

Friends-
I love my friends! I am so grateful for the friends in my life who make me want to be a better person in all aspects of my life! They are the people who I want to be more like. They are the examples I have to stay strong. Who are there for me when I am going through a hard time and are there to listen to me ramble or talk about what is bugging me in my life or what is making me happy. They are the best! I don't have many but the ones I do have I cherish so much!!

Myself-
Such a big topic! I feel like I mess things up for myself sometimes. I say something at the wrong time and lose out on friendships or whatever else I am trying to acheive. I realize that sometimes it would be better to keep things to myself. I need to work on me and not being so down on myself sometimes. I am a pretty confident person and I am very strong in who I am but when it comes to certain aspects of my life it gets hard for me.

Like boys..
I fall for the wrong ones and I end up getting hurt. Or I go through the I am not pretty enough or skinny enough or not good enough to find someone. I go through the boys only like the pretty girls and the skinny girls. It's hard to put yourself out there to get hurt in the end.. I realize you have to put yourself out there to find someone but sometimes it is hard because you want to but you can't.. After you get your hopes up and they are dashed it is hard to rebound and get right back in there..

okay enough about that..

country dancin has been so much fun lately.. Last night Cowboy Jake got me and Britt's numbers and asked us to hang out sometime!!! yay!!! WE were so excited!! We are just a little bit in love with him because he is just a southern gentleman and just the nicest person ever!

My roomie is finally feeling better.. I don't like it when she is sick. it's not fun! She went on a date this week and had a blast.. She has a cute boy who sends her cute texts during the day and wants to take her out again!! yay!! I am so happy for her! :-) She deserves nothing but the best and complete happiness!!

Well I don't know what else to say.. I think I got out everything I have been thinking about!

Last night!!

Country dancing was so much fun last night.. there weren't a lot of people there but we had a blast danced a lot and had an enjoyably fabulous time! There is this real gentleman of a cowboy who we have been talking to for a couple weeks now and everytime we see him he just melts brittany and my hearts.. He is so cute and a real cowboy!!

so last night or should I say this morning people in the corner apartment kept us up for a few hours because they were so loud talking and being noisy so Britt asks me if i was awake and I said ya and she said I havne't been sleeping these people are so annoying so i put on some pj pants (because i was in shorts) and a jacket walked out there a little annoyed at them I mean it's 3:30 in the morning show some respect and said Can you please keep the noise level down some of us are trying to sleep and some of us have work tomorrow so if you could please be quieter I would apprecaite it thanks.. and then walked away.. they were like wow have a good night.. I just kept walking.. We layed in bed for a little but longer contemplated calling the cops and then they finally got quieter and we fell asleep or at least I did I am not so sure about B!

Do you ever wonder???

Do you ever wonder where you would be if you didn't make the decisions you made? I know I do! I wonder sometimes where I would be if I had made different choices in my life. I wonder where I would be if I had decided to go back to school. I wonder where I would be if I had moved into a different apartment.. I wonder where I would be if I didn't have the friends I do! Because I realize how luck I am!!

I realized that if I hadn't made the decisions I made I wouldn't be who I am today! I realized that I had to go through every one of my struggles and trials to get where I am today! I had to stay home from school get my cousin to move here and then move out, so I could move to the area where I would meet amazing people that have brought me so many life experiences! I wouldn't have had the opportunity to have all nighters in Payson or to go on adventures to the lake and river or go camping and quading and four wheeling! I wouldn't be going to Disneyland next month! I wouldn't have gone to general conference! I wouldn't have gone country every week for months! Running around having a marshmellow fight at a playground!

I love that I have a best friend who understand what I am going through! A best friend that when we met we just instantly clicked and can spend 24/7 together and not be totally annoyed with each other or fighting all the time! We can talk till we fall asleep and wake up and talk till we have to leave for work! We can talk about boys, about the gospel, about what we are going through in our own personal lives. How we feel about whatever is going on in our lives. I love how we can be totally having a blast one second and be totally serious the next. It's amazing and I just love her to death! I wonder sometimes where I would be without her and then I realize I would be lost because she has helped me so much in my life and am so grateful for her!!

Sunday and Monday!

So Sunday morning we were laying in bed talking and planning our DISNEYLAND trip!! oh so excited we leave in a month!!! yahoo!! So we were getting ready for that and then started getting ready for church and Brittany was like we should have a game night as we were walking into church and I was like yeah we should. There are a lot of new people in the ward that we didn't know and we just wanted to make friends because church for us just hasn't been that good with the poeple in the ward so we decided to make it better! so during sunday school we invited like 10 people we didn't really know to come over for a game night! We went home and baked our little hearts out!! We made mini carrot cupcakes, chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter cookies with kisses! they turned out amazing and we had a blast at our game night.. it was a little weird at first until people started to get more comfortable and start opening up.. we played apples to apples, catch phrase, and the question game. Then we got into a deep conversation about dating and relationships which was way awesome!

Then on Monday night I came home from work and we made these bomb fajitas!! They were so delicious! Then we went to FHE and then we went to the lake!! That's right we went on an adventure!! I have been missing our adventures! We took new people with us and had a blast!! We stood by the lake and played karate and just talked and had a blast.. we were a little mean to each other at times and then we would say five nice things about that person.. they started to get repeated because we really dont know each other very well but it was fun! We just gotta continue to hang out with people and getting to know them!! It's been super fun!!

And as for tonight we are going to Institute!!! I really want to strive to go every week to learn and grow closer to my Savior and Father in Heaven!!

Arizona!!

I just love Arizona! I love it's beauty and all it has to offer.. Plus I just love the weather down here! I mean it is the middle of January and I don't have to wear a jacket! Like how nice is that!! I just love it so much! I love going out to the desert and hanging out and admiring the beauty it has to offer.. plus the mountains are pretty awesome as well!!! I just love to be outside and am so lucky to have friends who enjoy it just as much as I do! It is just so much better to be outside than to be locked up in the house or apartment or whatever you live in!! I love being outside and enjoying the fresh air and getting away from all the distractions that come with being home such as tv and internet! It is so much more fun admiring God's creations!!

So Brittany took my picture today!! Well actually lot's of them! We had so much fun we went to a Ghost Mining town in Apache Junction and took my pictures.. I dressed up all cute and cowgirl like and we had a blast taking pictures.. SO many great props to use and such a beautiful background with the mountains and the desert behind me! It was a blast!! I felt super cute!!
Which is the main thing that matters right?!?

Family is the most important..

If your family doesn't have your back than who does??? So life has been pretty crazy and dramatic.. So much drama with the birthmom of my little brother's baby! She started crap on facebook about my brother and I am sorry if you are going to say something that isn't true about him them I am going to say something about that!! That is just not ok with me! My family is my number one priority and if you mess with them I am going to stand up for them! Just don't mess with them!!! I hate seeing my mom cry and hurt! She was hurting a lot because of what was said and we were bullied by her family and that is just not fair. Jordan deserves just as much support and love as she does and we were just showing that by sticking up for him! He is an amazing person who is trying to better his life and make things better for himself! He said so himself the other night that he didn't like the person he was when he came home from boot camp and I feel like he is slowly trying to change and reailze the kind of person he is! I just wish people would give him a chance he has so much potential and it sucks that people don't give him a chance!! It just isn't fair! I believe in him and I believe he wants to change for the better. He is trying to figure his life out which is fantastic!!

I realized the other day that I look forward to being a wife.. and no I am not engaged or even dating anyone for that matter, but I do look forward to getting married and being a wife! I want to have someone to come home to or be home for someone to come home for! I want to cook dinner and do all the lovely things a wife does!! I also extremely hate dating.. I really want to skip the whole dating thing because dating just sucks hard core.. It is no fun.. I hate falling for guys that don't fall back or leave or just aren't around after a certain amount of time.. I just want to get engaged and get married!! wishful thinking I guess.. I just feel like I am trying so hard to be all I can be and to do all that I can! I just super look forward to having a husband and being a wife and having a family someday!!

Happy New Year!!!

Oh my oh my.. I can't believe 2010 is already gone!! I look forward to 2011 and all it has to offer!!

I had an amazing Christmas!! It was so fun to spend time with my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents and my brothers family! We had so much fun! I am pretty sure the highlight were playing Monopoly deal and having nerf fights like everyday, but it was super enjoyable!! I just super love my family and I love spending time with them!! Although i missed my bestie Brittany because she was busy house sitting every other week and spending time with her own family while I was spending time with my own!! But we are back to being together 24/7 well I guess minus work... I just love hanging out with her!! She is pretty dang amazing and I just consider her family!! I mean she is my sister!!

New Years Eve was pretty amazing as well!! Brittany, my cousins Regan and Reanna and I went to Brittany's friend Paden's house.. We hung out in the garage and watched a movie! We watched the other guys! which is a super funny movie might I add!! So it was freezing in the garage so four of us cuddled up on the full size air mattress and stayed warm.. then we lit fireworks off at midnight and had some hugs and took some pictures!! it was so much fun!! then we finished the movie.. realizing that we were almost out of propane came back to our apartment to watch a second movie.. the proposal.. the boys were such good sports!! Then they left and we all went to bed. Then to start off the new year Brittany, Reanna, and I went offroading with Wesley and his cousin Brad!! We had so much fun.. we drove out into the middle of the desert and drove around and tried to cross the river but never quite made it across.. it just wouldn't work... then we all got the opportunity to drive the truck.. thats right i drove a stick truck in the middle of the desert!! it was soooo fun!! I love it!! So say the least it was a spectaculer way to start out the new year!!! gotta love country boys and their big trucks in the middle of the desert!! Makes me a happy girl!

With a new year comes new goals and dreams!!

~I want to get in shape..
~I want to eat healthier..
~I want to be more Christ-like..
~I want to be a better friend..
~I want to be a better daughter..
~I want to be a better Daughter of God..
~I just want to be better!!!!
~And I am going to strive to do so!!

I just love country dancing!!! It has been super fun going lately because the teacher uses us to teach other people how to dance.. like last night I was up in front of everyone teaching everyone the dance moves and it made me feel like I actually know what I am doing and that I am kind of good at it too!!! Which makes me super happy!! Something I am good at or I guess really good at following!! But who cares its pretty exciting and fun!!!

So all of this is a little random and all jumbled up together but oh well that is what makes it all worth the read!!!