I am strong!!

I have realized so much these past couple of weeks! I was dating someone who is pretty amazing, but I just realized that I didn't like him the same way he liked me. We had been dating for a few weeks, I saw him everyday for like a week and a half.. then he left to go to Illinios for Thanksgiving. I took him to the airport and said goodbye.. The first couple of days he was gone I was like okay he is gone. What do I do know, but then I started to realize little things about him that I didn't like. Then I realized that I thought we should just be friends.. Granted he is still gone thinking everything is just fine, but I had a change of heart while he was away. I realized that I deserve someone who has the same goals that I have. A person who shouldn't feel like I was too good for him or that he couldn't give me what I deserve. Because for me that is like doubting our relationship everyday and that just isn't fair. I know that it was hard for me to tell him that I just wanted to be friends but I am stronger for doing it! You gotta break some hearts and get your heart broken to find someone that is going to be nothing but amazing and take me to amazing places! I know that there is someone out there for me that is going to be nothing but amazing because that is what I deserve! I am going to meet someone who has the same goals and dreams as I do! Someone who is strong. I need a strong man! I can be intimidating and strong willed and I need someone who can take that! I need someone who can put me in my place at times. I need someone to challenge me to be better! I need someone who is as strong as me. I know that I deserve nothing but the best. I need a man who understands how important my family is to me. Someone who understands that on my days off I spend time with my mom. Or that I go to my dad for a lot of things. or that I want to hang out with my brothers. My family is so close and we rely on each other so much that I need someone who can handle hanging out with them. Who can just fit into the family or tries to fit into the family! My brother's are a lot to handle and they are very involved in my life and they like to control who I date (which they cant)!! I need someone to just sweep them off their feet in a way.. I have goals and dreams and I am going places. I am a responsible person who has a job, an apartment, and a car! I have an amazing support system. I have a Father in Heaven who wants nothing but the best for me! I trust Him! I know that I have to be ready to meet that special someone! I know that He has a plan and I trust in His plan! I realize so much that I am blessed! I have a patriarchal blessing that tells me to use disernment when choosing an eternal companion and I am doing that! I am very intune with the spirit! I love that! I love reading my scriptures everyday and learning new things and drawing closer to the Lord! He is my rock and my foundation!

I want people to feel my love and feel that I do care when I interact with them! I want them to feel better knowing me for any length of time! I want people to see the light of Christ in my eyes! I want them to know that I love Him! I want them to know that I love them as well! I have learned so many lessons this year! I have grown into this amazingly beautiful daughter of God who is ready for anything! I have been such a cry baby lately for everything I am having to deal with and go through but it is all worth it in the end and I know that!! I have never been closer to the Lord and I am so thankful to be close to Him and to understand him more fully! I understand the love He has for the people of this world! I understand how He can love us all no matter what. We all have our agency and it is up to us to figure out what we are going to do with it! It is up to us to turn to Him and come unto Him! I am a Daughter Of God! I know that with every fiber of my being!

Me and Brittany are going country dancing tonight!! I can't wait!! :-) I just love her! She is so understanding and so willing to listen! We are so alike in so many ways that we just understand each other so much! It is so nice to have a best friend and sister and roomie like that! I haven't had a friend like that in along time! It makes me a little sad that I have lost touch with some of my best friends! But I sure am glad she came into my life! She truly is a blessing and has helped me through so many things and I just love her for that! She will be in my life forever and I know it will happen!!