Letting Christ shine through

I was going through old papers and found this really great story that I wanted to share

Quilt of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the last judgement, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me, Nobody else had such squares other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empy, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life and laughter, but there had also been trials of illness and wealth and false accusations that took from me my world as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often beeen held up to ridicule which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now i had to face the truth. My life was what it was and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled the air. I gazed around at the others who started at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the manyholes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me with warmth and love in his eyes. he said, "Everytime you gave over your life to me, it became my life, my hardships, and my struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let me shine through until there was more of me than there was of you." May all our quilts be threadbare and worn allowing Christ to shine through!

Life...

Well life is pretty uneventful for me these days!! I am still looking for a job, which totally sucks because I have no money coming in. I do get to babysit all day on Tuesday!! Yay!!! I have applied to many jobs and have heard nothing.. right now I am just hoping on finding a seasonal job and working really hard and hope they want me to stay on! Boys oh boys.. they are confusing and dumb.. but life wouldn't be the same without them right?!?! It's weird to have both Jordan and Tyler with significant other's which leaves me to be the only single person in the family!! woot woot! lol!! I have met amazing and wonderful friends that I love to talk to and hang out with.. they are amazing, so I keep busy with them and helping my mom out with the ward trunk or treat that is coming up! I love the Trunk or Treat!! It is so much fun!! Well that's pretty much it! Gotta love life right!! :)

Life is great!!

Hey! Well I have been pretty busy since my last update.. I have been working with my little brother at a vitamin suppliment company temporarily while I continue my search for a job. I can't believe how hard it is to find one.. but I keep my search going. I have been hangin out with Jordan and Tyler and a group of young single adults a lot! I have met wonderful new friends and reconnected with old friends! Boys are a whole other issue... I have no idea why they are so confusing.. but I guess that is just how life goes! We went on a big group date last night and had a blast!! The Diamondbacks won 8 to 5! It was a very exciting and fun game!! I had a blast with my date as well. I am still thinking about whether or not I am going to go back to BYU-Idaho. Since I have been home I have seriously thinking about staying home. I just feel like my life at BYU-Idaho is over. I just feel like I have done that already. I did the whole college experience away from home.. I am thinking about staying, moving out, and going to school here! I just love being with my family! They are my rock and I love them!

Home Life!

So I finished school and now I am home. I am loving being home, I am still looking for a job and it's not easy. As soon as I got home my brother Adam and his family came to visit and it was so much fun! We had a blast swimming in the pool and taking a little side trip to Vegas. Alyssa had never been, so we went! After they left my Great Grandpa Findlay died so we all jumped in the car and headed up to Utah for the funeral. The funeral was awesome because my great grandpa was honored for being a sherrif and for being veteran. It was amazing. A sad situation, but it brought our family together and that is all that matters! Since then I have been to a YSA conference, met new friends, and just been hanging out at home looking for a job. It's been nice to be able to hang out with my brother's and not get mad at each other. I think we all have a much better undertanding of each other and we appreciate each other a lot more. At least I do. They are my examples and I love going out with them.

School coming to an end..

Sad day school is almost over. I can't believe how fast this semester went by. It was an amazing second semester though because I finally got to get and do things this semester. I made great friends that I am going to miss very much, but I know we will always have this summer together. I am excited to be done with homework for a little while. It will be nice not to have to stress about it. Also yes!!! I get to go home for 4th of july weekend! I am so excited to see my family! I get to see my Aunt and Uncle and my Cousin. I am super excited to see my brothers as well! I miss them a lot. They are truly great examples to me! I appreciate the example they set for me and I love them. I am super excited to be home in the fall though because I get to spend time with my family. They mean the world to me.

Long time coming...

Sorry I am so much more busy this semester and I just don't have to blog it all out anymore, so here is an update!! I have been hanging out with these 4 amazing guys and they are Greg, Daren, James, and Bobby. They are amazing guys that honor their priesthood are really funny, fun to hang out with. We go out and play really random games all across campus and have a good time.. I love my girlfriends up here as well and they are Heather of course, Stephanie, Anna, and Tara. Heather is my best friend from home, Stephanie and Anna are my neighbors, and Tara is one of my roommates. They are amazing girls that i just love to hang out with. We have a good time when we all get together. I have been spending more time with my roommate Chanae and she is a super sweet girl! I enjoy spending time with her and talking to her.. I still don't date, but oh well what can you do.... nothing that's right!! i kind of go on dates but we don't call them dates becase it usually works out that there is an even number of girls and guys but it is way fun!!! School is going great the weather is wonderful and i am just loving life!!! :)

2nd Semester at BYU-I has arrived!!!

Okay so my second semester is going so much better than first semester!!! I really miss sharing a room with Molly and I don't get to see her as much but I do have a class with her so I do get to see her every other day!! I love my classes!! They are amazing!! I have been hanging out with a lot more people and actually getting out!! I just wish it would get warm already.. it is still not very good weather but oh well, what can you do!! I have been hanging out with this group of guys and they are pretty awesome guys!! My friends and I asked them out on a date for Saturday, but am not sure it is going to happen because two of them might be going out of town.. but oh well if they do hopefully we can do it again really soon!! I don't know what else is new.. I like my new roommates, we get along very good!! it is nice coming home and actually feeling at home and welcome.. i don't spend that much time at home but when i am at home it is nice to sit in the living room with everyone and have a great time!! It'e been a great week and a half of school.. man this semester is going by a lot slower..

college fun finally starting!!!

okay so I am starting to go out and do stuff with other people!!! I know it's been a long time coming, believe me!! I have been going to Latin Dancing on Friday nights and I have a blast.. On saturday I played fugitive in the Hart building!! IT was so much fun!! Molly and I went!! It is nice to get out!! on Monday night for FHE we played capture the flag against another family in the ward.. WE WON!!! Lol it was so much fun as well!! tonight Michelle, Molly, and I are going country dancing!! yay baby!! so excited!! it should be a lot of fun!! It nice to get out of the house and actually do something with our lives!!!!

long time..

okay so it has been a very long time since I have last written so I thought I would right a little something down.. I can't believe how fast this semester went by.. I can't believe there is only less then a month left of school. I am super excited to go home in between semesters!!! I can't wait to go home and see my family!! I miss them so much!! For the first time today my mom cried on me instead of me always crying on her! I just love and miss her so much.. I miss them all but I have realized how much I rely and love them!!! I am super excited for it to be warm!! It is so cold here.. oh my gosh.. It snowed today.. Seriously I thought we were done with that.. lol!! that's what I get for wanting to come to BYU-Idaho!!! I am so excited for summer semester because I will have family here a friend from home here and a two great friends I meet here!! I am super looking forward to having a blast with them all!!! I love them all!! They have made this experience so much better!!

thoughts...

oh my gosh i am so thankful to have such amazing parents!!! i guess i never really understood how much i relied on talking to my mom everyday until she was unreachable over the weekend.. it was really hard, but i finally got over it.. i talked to my dad like 3 times on saturday!! He tried his best to cheer me up and it worked.. it is so nice to have a dad tell you that someday you will find someone and you are cute and have a great personality and someone is out there for you. okay so v-day was a horrible day for.. i cried like all day.. untill i talked to my mom and then i was good. thats when my dad tried to cheer me up.. i wasn't necessarily sad becausei didnt have a valentine but because i just felt so alone.. i had no one.. my roommates and their boyfriends ignored me all weekend and it really make me sad and alone. i mean obviously i am a big girl but at the same time i don't like being ignored. especially when they are at your apartment all weekend long.. that is when i t makes me very upset. i was talking to molly about it and brandon which is michelles boyfriend didnt say one word to me until molly got home and asked if she was from phoenix and i was like actually i am the one from phoenix and i am actually from mesa.. he was like really?? i was like yeah. i got back in my room and molly was like is he seriouslyn just now asking you where you are from.. i was like yeah.. she was like wow.. i was like that was how is was all weekend long.. she is like sorry kay-kay.. im like its okay.. she feels bad for leaving mebut i don't want her too.. she is sick so i am hoping i don't get sick.. i am drinking lots of calcium and vitamin c so i can stay healthy and washing my hands and such.. i do not want to get sick.. not at all.. but anyways.. pretty much a horrible weekend.. but its all better now that molly is home and i have a friend in the apartment.. although i am enjoying talking to ashley these days.. she is a great girl.. she talks like she is an older person. she always says, "haven't the foggiest".. and it cracks me up everytime.. haha i love it!! i hope i pick up on that line... mollys family says she is crazier then she left and apparently thats my fault.. oh well. and ashley said i was just not myself over the weekend and i said i know i just didn't know who to be crazy with.. they were like ya i know... oh well more later..

college update...

Okay so this week has been good. I haven't been to overwhelmed with homework. Just overwhelmed with tests for all of my classes.. It was a big test week.. i didn't do to hot on some of them but what can you do i am still trying to figure out my professors.. so its getting there.. I am feeling happier not so depressed.. I have been praying a lot and its been helping a lot!! Its amazing the power of prayer. Me and Molly spent the day together yesterday and it was so much fun!! we went shopping!! it was nice to get out! We had a balst and then we went to a basketball game.. i got to catch up with my old friend Leesa Ricks. It was so great to get back in contact with her. She is a sweet sweet girl. It was lovely hanging out and getting back in touch! This week shouldn't be to overwhelming i hope!! i keep my fingers crossed. although i am sad that molly is leaving me for the weekend but i am very happy she gets to go home.. i am sad not to be going home but at the same time i am worried i would not want to come back if i went home now. it would not be a good thing.. i am super excited to see my family in april though!!! woot woot!! it will be super fun to hang with them and then when i come back to college my best friend HEATHER will be here which makes me super excited!!! i am so happy for that.. we will have a blast!!! its amazing.. i talked to Emily today on the phone and cried because i miss her so much.. she is growing up so much and i am not home for it.. it makes me sad.. it was hard to cause she is like i really want to see you.. I said i can't come to you i don't live in AZ right now. she was like why not? i was like i am away at school.. she is so sweet and i can't wait to see her in APRIL!!! she is a sweet sweet girl and she blows my mind everytime i talk to her!! amazing girl!!

The weekend...

Okay, so this weekend was kind of a depressing weekend.. I missed my family very much so.. But I got down on my knee's and prayed to my Father in Heaven, and I felt so much better after praying to him. It still amazing me the power of prayer.. I am constantly kneeling down and praying.. It has definately strenghthend my testimony on prayer.. Me and Molly like had a melt down on friday night we really wanted Apple Juice and Chocolate and we could not get it anywhere.. we wanted to crawl in our beds and cry. but we didn't we watched movies. We went to the store and stocked up on both so hopefully we will not be having any melt downs anytime soon. but who knows we get pretty whiny at night.. We laughed a lot and a lot of really good talks.. I really appreciate all she has done for me while being away from home... She is just as crazy and weird as me which I absolutely love about her!! I am feeling good and am ready to get back into school and get busy again.. who knows what next weekend will entail.. I really don't want molly to leave becuase that means i am going to be all alone while she is gone because michelle has her boyfriend coming and is going to want to be with him all the time and ashley has matt.. So i will be just laying in my bed watching chick flicks all weekend long.. sad day but oh well.. no valentine for me..

hmmm..

Well I have no idea what to write about today.. My homework load hasn't been to horribly full so it has given me sometime to take a breath and relax for a little bit.. I know it will get busy here soon but its nice to have a little break.. School is going good. I think I am getting good grades.. lots of test this week and next week so we will see how they go.. I already took my math test and it went okay.. I am not really sure how I did on it. I can only imagine.. Hopefully it was good.. Tomorrow is a math quiz and a american foundations test.. although I can take them tomorrow or Friday so I have sometime to study. Molly gets super stressed out about school and then it affects me too sometimes.. she is such a great roomie!! I love her to death!! We were talking about her leaving to go home for a 3 day weekend coming up and she was like I didn't expect to get attached so fast.. I was like Molly we got attached the first week. She truly has made this whole college thing a lot easier for me.. It is nice to have someone to talk with when the other rommies are making us mad or taking what we said the wrong way.. its really nice to have a buffer.. lol she is great!! I will miss her when she goes home for the three day weekend cause that means i have to be here with the other two all by myself.. we will see what happens.. I will have to let you all know!!

SNOW!!!

Oh my gosh so today we walked all around town while is what snowing and just to top it off we played in the snow on the way home.. we had snowball fights on the corner of the streets.. we pushed eachother so we would fall down.. we would just laugh and it was such a nice day compared to the days we had been having.. it was so nice to just hang out the 4 of us and just chill and have fun.. i am sad that ashley was not in more pictures.. she was our camera woman!!! so we just had a blast.. she did have a snowball fight with us though.. i went out to lunch today for the first time since i had been here.. we went to taco bell!! i love that place so much!! i surely missed it.. and i also had pop for the first time in like forever.. it was yummy.. lol!! it was a lovely day and i had a blast spending it with my roomies!!

Getting better...

Hey.. Everything around the dorm is getting better!! My two roommates that were fighting are no longer fighting which is very good news!! We are a happy dorm again.. I am so stressed with classes and homework.. I am trying to do the whole time management thing better but its definately hard.. I do most of my homework during the day but i still end up doing homework at night as well.. its not fun.. I have no idea how people come up here and have social lives.. I mean I could if I really tried but seriously no social life at all.. its sad, but its hard because I don't know anyone either so its hard in that aspect to. I never thought college would be so hard, I mean I did think it was going to be a little bit of a challenge but not a huge challenge.. I am still working through everything to get a schedule and such.. It just takes so much time! I will figure it out eventually!!

Dorm Pictures!!

The other side of the living room

My Kitchen

My bookshelf

My Desk

our bookshelf with our initials and pictures!

My living room.. yes we have a christmas tree up..

My bed with my desk under it.

Weekend....

Okay so my weekend was very stressful. We had a lot of tension between two of my roommmates. It was not fun at all. My roommate ashley stayed away all day yesterday.. so me molly and michelle had some good bonding time.. it was fun.. my roommate michelle is almost engaged so she has been planning her wedding so i was picking out music with her.. It was very fun.. we laughed.. then me and molly went to our room and both watched a movie.. i don't know this whole roommate stuff is hard.. i don't deal with drama and boy do we have drama here.. its gotton a little better but not much.. I don't know what to do anymore but oh well.. me and molly read our scriptures together last night.. it was fun.. we have done it a couple times.. i love molly.. she is such a sweet girl.. she invited me to go home with her for valentines day weekend because she is going home.. but i was like well you are going to be with your boyfriend and it might be weird to be there.. i said maybe next time when gerritt is not there.. lol it was very nice of her to invite me though!! :)

Pictures!!

Okay so here is picture of Me, Molly, Anna, and her roommates for her 19th Birthday!!

Molly and Me at Coldstone!! It was so cold outside i am not sure what we were thinking!!

My roommate Molly and ME!

ME, ANNA, AND MOLLY!!! Love these girls!!

Me and Anna!! She is a great girl!!

Hey!! Okay so here are a few pictures.. i am still working on putting up my dorm pictures.. they will be up soon!! i just love everything about these lovely girls in the pictures!! So excited for the 3 day weekend!!! woot woot!! :)

HOMEWORK...

Okay so i need to better manage my time.. I did really good yesterday!! i was done with homework by 8:00!! it was so nice to not have to stay up late working on homework.. instead i watched a movie with my roommate molly!! it was so much fun.. we both climbed up onto my twin bed and just layed and watched the movie!! it was good.. my classes are going good right now.. they have a lot of work and a lot of reading but i am working on managing my time so its going better.. i just say it wouldn't be college if it didn't involve a lot of work and studying. it would just be high school and seeing how i hated high school i want to make the best out of college!! so far i haven't done much but as i get more into school and getting to know more people it will get so much better!! i have been doing so much homework today but its nice becuase i wont have to do it tonight which is really nice.. seeing as how my roommate michelle worked on homework for a long time last night and only got 3 hours of sleep.. not good at all.. i gotta have my sleep so i am trying to do my homework during the day and these past couple of days have been going really good so far.. we will see....

Laundry!!

Okay so i did my laundry for the first time today all by myself!!! What a great accomplishment!! i love it.. lol!! it is a growing experience being out on my own.. i love it, but miss my family so much.. but i talk to my mom everyday sometimes twice a day.. i feel like i am always with her.. or like i am never to far away. its different not seeing her everyday but its all good.. i really love it here though!! its an amazing place to be.. It so cool to have every class bring the church into everything we learn about.. its crazy how much everything goes together! its an awesome thing to go to class and always be learning more about the gospel.. It was really weird to start praying before every class but it definately grows on you.. its an awesome experience to have.. I am really missing not having my friends around but i do love my roommates which makes it a lot easier!!! I never leave my dorm but its fun because we always have a great time!!

Dance!

Last night my roommate Molly and I went to the kick back dance!! It was so much fun! WE danced like crazy and laughed a lot! There were so many more people there. I wasn't expecting so many people.. It was like a stake dance but ten times more people and ten times more fun! It was funny because when we a fast song came on everyone would start jumping and if you stood still you could feel the floor moving up and down. it was crazy, i was like i hope we don't fall through the ceiling. hah we didn't though. Church today was lovely! The talks were great they were on the Honor code, Obedience, and another talk but i was getting cold so i lost track of what it was about, but i do remember that it was really good! Oh man it was so much quiter than a family ward. It was very nice to be able to pay attention and actually get something out of the talks. Its hard to pay attention in a family ward with so many people with kids. They are so loud, but today was wow pin dropping quiet.. Tommorrow is a ward FHE activity which should be super fun to get to know the ward and the people in it. Then we are off to starting FHE in small groups. I have so much homework to do so i better get on that.

BYU-Idaho!!

Hey! 2009 is going to have so many great opportunities for me!! I look forward to all that i do.. To start the year of I was in Utah on my way up to BYU-I!! I spent a wonderful few days with my aunt and uncle and cousins. It was so nice to see cousins that i have not seen in forever!! It seriously has been way to long!! I loved spending time with them! Then on Saturday January 3 we made our way up to Idaho.. I got all settled in and then had to say goodbye.. that was probably the hardest part of it all! I love my family so much and it was so hard to say goodbye but we said see you soon instead.. since i will be seeing my family in april!! i am absolutely loving BYU-I!!!! it is going so good.. My classes seem really good. they might be a little intense at times but i think i am really going to enjoy them all!! i look forward to learning more and getting to know more people.. i pretty much spend all of my time with my roommates but that is always good!! we try to have dinner together which makes it really nice.. WE all like to spend a lot of time at home but all is well with that cause we all get along great!! My roommates names are Molly, Michelle, and Ashley.. they are great girls!! i can't think of anything else but i will keep this updated for all who want to see whats going on at school for me!! i love and miss everyone!!